You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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