I CAN MOONWALK!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
