she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
