I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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