I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
