What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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