i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
