just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
