he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
