New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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