He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
