Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
