But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
