I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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