the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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