It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
