The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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