I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
