so explain again why im purple
no
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Alive.
So much puke
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
