A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
