How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize