She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
