Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
