Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
