Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I intend to get homeless drunk
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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