i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
