Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Iām sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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