I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
