so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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