Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
