Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize