And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I licked your asshole in confidence.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
