Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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