turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
