maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
