We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
