i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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