Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
