loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
