But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
