this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
