whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
