He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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