He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Even my vagina gasped.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
