We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize