I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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