hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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