i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
