so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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