How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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