my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
