I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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