who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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