i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am one with the molecules
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
