well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
