ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
