Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
