I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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