Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize