If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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