I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
