I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
