This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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