I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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