how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
