Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
