And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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