yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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