Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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