legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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