suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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