there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
