I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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