I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
