In the future we'll all be gay
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
