I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
