They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
