Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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