Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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