Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
