I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
