i jhust puked up my retainher.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
