haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize