I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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