I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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