He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
